The Best Conversation Is The One You Have With Yourself

What if the most important conversation you'll ever have isn't with your boss, your partner, or your best friend but with yourself?

In this episode, Sarah Wright and Dr. Victoria Stakelum explore the inner dialogue that shapes everything: your confidence, your decisions, your relationships, and your ability to have difficult conversations.

We unpack where your inner critic comes from (spoiler: it was formed in childhood, and it thinks it's helping), how to tell the difference between fear-based chatter and genuine gut instinct, and what to do when that voice in your head is holding you back.

You'll learn why trying to silence your inner critic backfires, what you can do so it loses its grip, and the ABC technique for regulating yourself in the moment. Plus: the surprising power of giving your inner critic a name, why affirmations can make things worse if you don't believe them, and how journaling with your non-dominant hand might unlock answers your conscious mind can't reach.

If you've ever beaten yourself up after a meeting, talked yourself out of something you wanted, or wondered why you can't just think more positively—this one's for you.

Topics covered:

• What a “conversation with yourself” really is and why we’re all doing it (whether we notice it or not).
• Why the tone and volume of your self-talk matters for wellbeing and relationships.
• How to spot when you’re being hijacked in a conversation (mental and physical signs).
• A simple regulation framework you can use anywhere: Awareness → Breath → Choice.
• How to work with (not against) your inner critic, including naming it and understanding what it’s trying to do for you.
• Why “positive affirmations” can backfire and how to do realism-based positivity instead.
• Practical ways to externalise your thoughts: journaling, speaking out loud, and prompts that take you deeper.

Guest Information

• Dr. Victoria Stakelum - Psychologist & Mindset Coach
• Sarah Wright - Communications & Creative Strategist
• Victoria's Oracle Cards: Available at thesuccesssmith.com under Launchpad

Contact / listener questions

Have a conversational conundrum or a question sparked by this episode? Email the show at ABloodyGoodConversation@gmail.com .